Is Trump The Antichrist? Well, I'm Not Saying He's *Not*
Sure, let's play this game.
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Well, the question is coming up again, and this time some of the conservative Christian “faithful” are starting to ask it. (I recognize that the word “faithful” is doing a lot of work when we’re talking about vile conservative Christians whose only faith is in a hateful white supremacist bigot God they created in their own image.)
But here’s the question: Is Donald Trump the Antichrist? Like, the literal one?
Uh oh! Is it dawning on (some of) these folks that maybe this great deceiver, this false christ, this boogeyman they’ve been training their whole lives to spot — especially if they’re a certain kind of evangelical — might have ALREADY DECEIVED THEM AND NOW THEY ARE GOING TO HELL WHEN THEY DIE BECAUSE THE TRUE MARK OF THE BEAST IS A RED MAGA HAT?
Important questions, especially if you’re one of the perhaps deceived!
It’s been coming up enough that Wired has a full piece covering who’s asking and why. It really got started when Trump posted that picture of himself as literally Jesus healing the sick, then lied though his viciously stupid teeth and said he thought it was depicting him as a doctor. This piece, which originally appeared at Wonkette, and which I excerpted here, is about that:
We saw in that post that Marjorie Taylor Greene called it “more than blasphemy,” adding that “It’s an antichrist spirit.”
Also in that post we had creeper Theobro white nationalist, misogynist, anti-LGBTQ+ neckbeard Joel Webbon — these are the “Theobros,” if you don’t recall — hilariously freaked out that he thinks Trump is “demon possessed,” as if Trump hasn’t been like this his entire life. Refresh yourself on Joel in these earlier Moral High Ground posts:
To those examples, Wired adds this reaction:
“In 18 months I went from hesitantly voting for Trump to thinking there’s a decent chance he’s the antichrist,” added Clint Russell, host of the right-wing Liberty Lockdown podcast.
Plus, there was that whole long monologue Tucker Carlson did last week in response to Trump using Easter morning to threaten to massacre innocent Iranian people, indeed, the entire civilization. As Wired points out, Tucker didn’t say “antichrist” in that monologue, but he didn’t need to for “figures like Alex Jones [and] users of the DonaldTrump666 subreddit” to hear it.
Oh shitfuck, y’all! Has MAGA been worshiping Satan this whole time, just to stick it to the libs?
Well let’s see, what DOES the Bible say about the antichrist? Let us put on our biblical discernment hats and find out!
We shall begin with 2 Thessalonians, which says, um, a lot. (I’m using the English Standard Version, should you care.) Verses three and four, regarding when Jesus Christ will return:
3 Let no one deceive you in any way. For that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness[b] is revealed, the son of destruction,[c] 4 who opposes and exalts himself against every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God.
Verse eight:
8 And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will kill with the breath of his mouth and bring to nothing by the appearance of his coming.
GO JESUS! GIT IT!
Ahem, excuse us, had a random PRAISE HIM moment.
Verses nine through 12:
9 The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, 10 and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. 11 Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, 12 in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.
Well if that isn’t MAGA …
You know how we always talk about how Matthew 7:21-23 is basically Jesus’s love letter to the white conservative Christians, where He explains to them, lovingly, in sort of an “I’m going to flood you all to fucking death like My dad did a few hundred years ago” sort of way, that so many multitudes of people who have worn His name on their sleeves, who prophesied in His name, who did everything in His name, who BLAH BLAH BLAH-ed and couldn’t shut their mouths in His name, actually never knew him, and never He them?
How the passage doesn’t even make sense unless it’s directed at those who are possessed by the most pompous ass certainty that it could never be about them?
Because why else would those people be bitching and moaning and demanding to speak to The Manager at the the pearly gates? "‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”
(Another verse we should spend more time looking at in this context is Matthew 19:24: That’s the one about “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”)
Now, the Bible mentions that there will be more than one antichrist, numerous antichrists, little “a.” Back in Matthew 24:5-7, Jesus said, “[M]any will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray.” Then: “And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places.” Verses 11 and 12: “And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold.”
And then verse 24 hits, with Jesus making abundantly fuckin’ clear to His disciples that He is saying that these false prophets are going to deceive people who call themselves believers: “For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.”
It helps to think of this not in some kind of woo-woo 1970s cult panic way, like literal gurus claiming they are the risen Jesus. But more like, you know, false teachers replacing the entire message of the faith with, I dunno, an explicitly religious version of Make America Great Again or something? Just a suggestion.
The Apostle Paul writing in 2 Corinthians 11: “13 For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. 14 And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. 15 So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.”
Hmmmm! By the way, I’m cheating off a conservative evangelical website that cobbled together all of these verses and as usual missed the entire point. These dumbasses probably think the mark of the Beast is “wokeness.”
The author at that website literally wrote:
What is amazing is that people’s political freedom will be taken away, and they will be deceived into thinking they are worshipping Christ! People will think what they are doing is normal and good (after all, the economy will prosper)! But such is the nature of deception. People who are deceived don’t know they are deceived.
Well, I guess that settles that, Donald Trump isn’t the antichrist, because his economy fuckin’ sucks. Also one would think God would give Satan a boy wonder who wasn’t so goddamned stupid, to at least make it seem like a fair fight. But maybe not?
Finally, there’s that whole thing in Daniel and Revelation about how the beast will allegedly have a head wound that miraculously disappears and the whole world will be full of wonder, which … doesn’t quite seem like a description of what happened when Trump was allegedly shot in Pennsylvania. UNLESS what the Bible meant when it said the world would “marvel” is that they would immediately start calling horseshit on the very legitimacy of the so-called “head wound,” and that idiots at the Republican convention would put maxi pads on their ears in solidarity, and everybody would point and laugh at them.
Anyway, let’s spoiler our way to the end with Revelation 19:20:
And the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet who in its presence[a] had done the signs by which he deceived those who had received the mark of the beast and those who worshiped its image. These two were thrown alive into the lake of fire that burns with sulfur.
GO JESUS, HE’S OUR MAN, IF HE CAN’T THROW THEM ALIVE INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE THAT BURNS WITH SULFUR, NO ONE CAN!
Golly, we are just feeling so praise-and-worshippy this morning!
What’s fun is that Trump’s suckling fluffers with daddy issues like Pete Hegseth who are so sure they’re worshiping the real God — you know how the Bible mentions the antichrist will have minions aplenty! —well, if Trump is the antichrist, they will get thrown into hell with Trump, so hahaha, have fun with that, Mister Secretary WARFIGHTER of WAR!
Fuckin’ loser.
In conclusion, Trump is the Antichrist, or he’s an antichrist, or maybe he’s just a vile, fascist piece of wannabe Hitler shit with a messiah complex who’s nonetheless definitely going to hell when he dies.
Biblical analysis all finished.
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-Evan
You know you fucked up when you have atheists, pagans, Jews, and Muslims siding with the Pope against you.
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Seven Deadly Sins
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ENVY
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LUST
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GLUTTONY