OF COURSE Trump Is Begging Us To Call Him Daddy
And his sad loser followers are all too happy to oblige!
Hello, Moral High Grounders! If you love this newsletter, if you care about independent media, and you like sticking it to loser MAGA motherfuckers, PLEASE upgrade your subscription to PAYING and/or founding subscriber!
(If you’re a new subscriber, click here to learn what this place is all about and why you belong here. Welcome to all the many new readers!)
Why become a paying subscriber? Because independent media is more important than ever in these dark days we’re in, and we need voices who aren’t afraid of holding the tyrants accountable and also calling them whatever mean and nasty names I want to call them. Help me remain one of those voices!
It also helps support projects like these, where I’m keeping track of all the Christian pastors and youth group leaders accused of/arrested for/convicted of sexually abusing/grooming children. Because it really never is drag queens or LGBTQ+ people, is it?
Thank you for reading, thank you for subscribing, thank you for supporting!
I’ve been making fun of MAGA manliness a lot here lately. It’s so key to understanding everything about these people, that their sense of their own manliness, their power, is entirely borrowed and sucked out and experienced vicariously through men they view as more powerful in the hierarchy/patriarchy. In turn, the men they look up to are drawing their power vicariously from the men above them. In other words, they all have severe, unrequited daddy issues. It would be funny if this wasn’t real life, if their psychosexual issues weren’t literally destroying this country right now.
For a great example of this, watch Pete Hegseth’s body language any time he’s around Donald Trump. Of course, you can also watch his beclowned press conference this week, as he sniffed and drooled and whimpered for Donald Trump’s approval. Then watch Trump when he’s around Vladimir Putin.
Watch them work out their Daddy issues in real time, live and on camera.
The MAGA Daddy roleplaying fantasies have been acting themselves out all week, with MAGA’s frankly embarrassing reaction to Trump’s Iran strikes, which appear to have been far more flaccid than the TOTAL OBLITERATION Trump and Secretary Totally Obliterated have been insisting they were. Of course, if they hadn’t had such a pathetic need to brag about the TOTAL OBLITERATION of the strikes before the smoke had even cleared — if they actually possessed the inner strength and quiet confidence that should come with the territory of running the strongest military in human history — they wouldn’t be humiliating themselves like this right now.
This wasn’t an “Obama Kills Bin Laden” moment, obviously — ha ha, Donald Trump, sorry! — but it didn’t need to be. But right there in that last sentence, so many of Trump’s own masculine insecurities are contained in those four words: Obama Kills Bin Laden. (More words: It happened the same weekend he made fun of Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and then when he made the announcement to the nation that he had killed the terrorist leader, it pre-empted The Celebrity Apprentice.)
And so forth.
Point is, there is so much to unpack in examining the frailties of MAGA masculinity, the codependency, the childhood trauma, it would take a thousand psychologists a thousand years to sift through it all. But one major theme is that every single one of them, to a man (and to many MAGA woman) is absolutely desperate for Daddy’s love and approval.
Donald Trump is selling this T-shirt right now, and oh my God, the reason why is more humiliating for him and to his simpering loserbaby followers than you could possibly imagine.
Oh my fucking God, these weirdos are so sick, please ban them from the presence of all children.
This “Trump as Daddy” thing has been going all this week.
Trump humiliated himself at NATO in a number ways, starting before he even got there, when they had to cut the meeting down to one two-hour working session because they knew Donald The Senile Wuss Baby couldn’t sit still longer than that without getting bored. Then he spent the entire trip whining and threatening to sue and/or prosecute everybody for making fun of his bunker busters’ apparent inability to finish the job.
Did we all see what appeared to be Queen Máxima of The Netherlands mocking Trump just slightly behind his back while they were getting their picture made?
That was fun. But it’s also evidence of the truth that every serious person in the world is mocking Trump, whether it’s to his face or just slightly out of the frame where he’s too stupid to pick up on it.
And that’s kind of where this whole “Daddy” thing came from.
NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte said some weird shit to Trump in one of their meetings about how maybe Trump was the “Daddy” refereeing between Israel and Iran, and that “Daddy” sometimes has to use “strong language.” (Earlier this week Trump had a temper tantrum when Israel and Iran kept shooting at each other after their alleged cease fire started and said the word “fuck.” This was newsworthy, according to our US media.)
It was a bit cringey, sure. It was extraordinarily cringey when Rutte, just before the trip, gave Trump a text message rimjob praising his Iran strikes and his tactical brilliance getting all of Europe to agree to increase its defense spending to 5% of GDP.
That said, every world leader, and every alliance and coalition leader, friend, foe, or friend Trump treats like a foe, knows that the best way to manipulate Trump is to flatter and praise him, to tickle his balls and tell him you admire him. They all know he’s too mouthbreathing stupid, too vain, too damaged to ever figure out that they’re playing him, that they don’t actually think he’s smart or powerful or handsome, that they all immediately start making fun of him the second he’s out of earshot. (Some, like Putin, make brutal fun of Trump to his face.)
So take what Mark Rutte said to Trump with that ginormous grain of salt.
But Trump seized on that Daddy thing, though, hard, and so did MAGA. Oh my God, it was like validation! It was like love! It was like wow, holy shit, they are definitely not in on the joke:
“When Biden was President, we were LAUGHED at on the world stage. The whole world WALKED ALL OVER US!” the Trump National Committee Joint Fundraising Committee (JFC) wrote in its email promoting the shirt.
“But thanks to your favorite President (ME!) we are respected once again,” the [email] wrote in Trump’s voice. “Please never forget that I wouldn’t be here without you. THANKS TO YOU, OUR COUNTRY IS RESPECTED AGAIN!”
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, oooooooookay.
So, real international geopolitical daddies don’t have to send their followers emails full of cum-splattering glee to announce that somebody called them Daddy. Real international geopolitical daddies don’t make T-shirts to commemorate the occasion. Real international geopolitical daddies speak softly and carry a big … well, you know.
But oh my fucking God, Trump was so excited. A journalist at NATO referenced the occasion, and asked if Trump thinks of his NATO allies as his “children.” Pete Hegseth and Marco Rubio, flanking Trump, laughed excitedly at the question, because finally somebody thought their Daddy was the biggest and toughest Daddy!
Trump even made up dialogue Mark Rutte decidedly did not say, perhaps exposing that Trump’s gelatinous brain has already started fantasizing about and rewriting the event to make it even hotter. He claimed Rutte said, “Daddy, you’re my Daddy!” (Mark Rutte has clarified, and the video verified, that he absolutely did not fucking say that.)
And fam, it did not end there. Because Trump’s people made an entire video to mark the occasion of Trump coming back to the United States with a “Daddy’s home” theme, using the Usher song “Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home).” (We’re sure the cease-and-desist from Kamala Harris-supporter Usher’s lawyers is coming.)
This is so sad.
What’s even more humiliating about this is that they think they’re “trolling” us. But if if they’re “trolling” us, it’s clearly of the “deprive ourselves of oxygen while we’re masturbating thinking about our Daddy Trump, and when the EMTs revive us, the first thing we’re going to say is YA BURNT, LIBS!” variety.
Hoooookay.
So yeah, there’s a lot to unpack here! It’s so cringey, it’s so creepy, it’s so weird, it’s so fucking funny watching a bunch of MAGA people, mostly men, homophobic men, literally giggle-jizzing in their red hats because they think a grown man called the man they think of as Daddy “Daddy.”
Read the comments on Twitter, on Instagram, YouTube, anywhere the White House posted this. Read the comments from bona fide conservatives who are not pretending they think this is awesome, who really mean it, because they look at Trump as their Daddy, therefore they just assume everybody else secretly admires and fears Daddy the way they do. Take THAT, libs!
It must come from a place of such deep, unimaginable emptiness, to truly look up to Donald Trump in that way. And I reckon it says something about the sad state of fatherhood on the American right.
They must have never had a real man to look up to.
In Michigan, Republican State Senator Jonathan Lindsey tried to make this normal and cool and not a good reason to immediately remove children from MAGA men’s households, saying, “A lot of people in America have come to think of President Trump as a sort of father figure, and indeed, this morning we even saw the leadership of NATO refer to him as Daddy. So maybe in these resolutions going forward, we can have a little bit of like recognition of ‘Daddy Trump’ is who we’re going to oppose.”
Um, OK, you gross weirdo.
Jeremy Allen Moss, the gay state Senate president pro tempore, explained gently:
They have no idea what they look like to normal people. They have no idea what normal people think when we hear them … shudder … excitedly licking their lips and calling him “Daddy.”
They’re just glad Daddy’s home, so he can spend some more time grooming them.
Fuckin’ sickos.
Hello, lovely readers and subscribers! If you like this post and want more like it, please share, recommend this newsletter on your Substack, subscribe and most importantly become a paying subscriber if you can! (Or upgrade to Founding Member!)
Paying subscribers get access to a growing number of benefits, like audio versions of the weekly newsletter, plus the exclusive members’ live-chat, where you can ask me brilliant questions and we can just generally yap at each other.
Plus you’ll be supporting new projects like this one, where I track all the Christian pastors and youth leaders who abuse kids. Surprise, it’s still not drag queens!
More features and benefits will come as the place grows. A more professional podcast is coming, but realistically I’ll need to be in the neighborhood of 20,000 total subscribers for that to happen. (We are almost to 14,000!) Book club? Recipe exchange? Bible study for complete heathens? COULD BE. One step at a time, though! So upgrade that subscription and SHARE, SHARE, SHARE this post everywhere you share things.
Bluesky? I’m there! Instagram? There too! Facebook! Reddit! ALL THE PLACES!
If you’re feeling limited by the subscription options and want to donate more like some kind of high roller big bucks luxury patron, use these Luxury Buttons! (PayPal and Venmo, respectively.)
Suggested donation: ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Again, the Luxury Button is a PayPal link, and the Other Luxury Button is Venmo, so they won’t AUTOMATICALLY confer the benefits of subscriptions like above. Go ahead and put your email in the subscription box regardless, and if you ever don’t have access to something after you’ve subscribed/donated that way, gently nudge me to let me know, because I have to do those manually.
Thank you, love you all!
-Evan
I am a 64 year old southern woman, and have always called my father Daddy. He died last month, peacefully in his sleep at home, in hospice care. No one is perfect, including my Daddy, but he was a loving and wonderful father to his three kids and husband to my mother. If I live to be 100, I will always refer to him as "Daddy." And I refuse to let these goons ruin that word, like they have ruined so many other things. The maga goons truly are sick and depraved.
But I’m already used to calling him by his real name: dickhead.