Pete Hegseth’s Pervy Christian Nationalist Daddy Goes To Washington
Wherein Secretary Shitfaced openly endorses taking away women's right to vote, criminalizing being gay and establishing Gilead in the United States.
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Pete Hegseth, AKA Secretary Shitfaced, tweeted this Thursday night:
“All of Christ for All of Life.” What does that mean? Well, it’s sicko Christian nationalist shit coming from the least qualified, stupidest Defense secretary in American history, a man with well-documented masculinity/daddy issues, a reportedly abusive drinking problem and some of the most perverted religious faith we’ve ever encountered. (But he swears he’s not drinking right now! He promised to Megyn Kelly and Jesus!)
So what is Secretary Shitfaced openly endorsing there with that tweet? Well, it’s a CNN interview with Doug Wilson, the septuagenarian cult guru Idaho Christian leader who has recently planted a church in Washington DC, so that his style of diseased Christian nationalism — and Hegseth’s kind — can be planted in the nation’s capital, which itself is no longer a beacon of freedom or hope or goodness in the age of Donald Trump’s burgeoning dictatorship.
And “All of Christ for all of life” is Wilson’s transmogrified, sort of bastardized idiot pigfuck mantra/summation of the teachings of John Calvin, which form the Reformed Christian tradition that’s at the heart of the dangerous insurgent Christian nationalist movement trying to turn the US into Gilead.
Indeed, Wilson openly wants to turn the United States into a Christian nationalist theocracy, as do the 40-something man-pastors who hover around his grundle. As such, he’s super happy to see Hegseth throwing Christian nationalist services at the Pentagon, so everybody can come together and “Sieg heil!” at his fucked up idea of who God is. (Oh, do they not pray in German? Coulda fooled everyone.)
Hegseth, you might remember, moved his family to the Nashville metro in 2022 so he could suckle at the nips of one of Doug Wilson’s bearded daddy pastors in his Communion of Reformed Evangelical Churches (CREC) denomination. His children also go to a church-affiliated school, because in these sorts of primitive conservative Christian societies, it’s very important to integrate daddy’s authority in every single area of life. (Considering the low quality of their men, it’s understandable that no one would choose it freely without constant indoctrination.)
Most of the pastors and adherents of the CREC — the public-facing ones anyway — look about the same. They have very performative beards that they use to cover up God knows what, but it almost certainly relates to their own masculinity issues. They, to a man, hate women, and most believe women shouldn’t be able to vote except in certain situations where they don’t have a white man readily available to be the boss of them. That’s a belief that comes directly from their cult daddy Doug.
By the way, the adherents of Wilson’s churches call themselves “Kirkers,” because Reformed Christians have a hilariously overinflated sense of their own intellectual prowess and are obsessed with constantly proving it by adopting special words and ideas that convince them they’re part of a long and brilliant heritage of believers, going all the way back to exotic faraway lands like Scotland. It is part of how they masturbate.
Wilson has notoriously sick and perverted beliefs about women, having once written that submission from a woman is an “erotic necessity” for a man. He also wrote that the absence of that submission makes men “dream of being rapists.” (Hey, you know what we call men who can’t cum without feeling like they have power over the people they fuck? Rapists.) He and his wife, Nancy Wilson, believe that a husband, by definition, is never “trespassing in his own garden,” by which they mean his wife’s body, therefore marital rape doesn’t exist.
Wilson has some really choice beliefs about slavery, and surprise, they’re all of the sort where white people tell themselves that actually lots of slaves really loved their masters and their masters loved them. They think this is just great, while paying the thinnest lip service to pretending they don’t really support slavery.
You will not be shocked to learn of the history of sexual assault and domestic violence accusations in Doug Wilson’s denomination. And the myriad allegations that he’s actively covered up for pedophiles and kid-touchers in his churches. Oh gosh, how similar he sounds to just every other conservative Christian leader and his president!
Therefore it is also not shocking that this is the church that allegedly saved Pete Hegseth’s irredeemable soul, fresh off that rape accusation.
Anyway, now, for some reason, CNN has decided to highlight Doug Wilson and his new sicko DC church.
Here’s the full CNN segment with interviewer Pamela Brown:
Since Secretary Shitfaced tweeted that full video, we will assume he endorses everything in it. (Pentagon dicklicker spox Sean Parnell told CNN that “The Secretary is a proud member of a church affiliated with the Congregation of Reformed Evangelical Churches, which was founded by Pastor Doug Wilson. The Secretary very much appreciates many of Mr. Wilson’s writings and teachings.” So there you have it.)
It includes the following:
That women should not be allowed to vote. Which is weird since Shitfaced feels the need to take his wife to so many of his Defense secretary meetings. (She is reportedly there to keep him from getting totally obliterated and trying to slide his greasy, unwashed Pepé le Penis inside women he’s not married to.)
CNN interviews two of Wilson’s bearded Theobro manservants AKA pastors, Toby Sumpter of King’s Cross Church and Jared Longshore of Christ Church (Wilson’s home church), to talk about whether women should be allowed to vote. Toby says it should be a household vote cast by The Man — like JD Vance believes! — and Jared definitely supports repealing the 19th Amendment. But don’t worry, Toby also says that if there’s disagreement in the household about who to vote for, they’ll have a discussion! (And then the man will go vote for whatever Republican Nazi rapist is running, I imagine. After the discussion.)
“Women are the kind of people that people come out of,” says Doug Wilson. But no, he doesn’t mean women are just broodmares! And he doesn’t say it’s necessarily a problem that the CNN journalist interviewing him is a working mother. Not necessarily.
CNN interviews Josh and Amy Prince — they are Kirkers! — on whether Josh is the boss of Amy or whether she is his equal. “Yes and no,” says Josh, clearly aroused that his sick belief system creates a way for him to be above somebody, when no sentient person would award him that position voluntarily. Josh explains that they’re equal in that they both got saved by Jesus, sure whatever, but GOD SAYS they have different purposes. (His purposes just happen to be more powerful and better than hers.)
Amy Prince, with a tremor in her voice, agrees that Josh is the boss of her. Like for example, Josh made the decision that they should leave their old home and come suck on Doug Wilson’s grundle at his church, as a family. Doesn’t he sound like such a great male leader, especially in light of, again, all the allegations of how Doug Wilson and his church handle things like sexual assault and domestic violence and kid-touching allegations? By the way, the body language of Josh and Amy, respectively, says as much or more about how sick this worldview is than their words do.
“I’d like to see the town be a Christian town, like to see the state be a Christian state, like to see the nation be a Christian nation, like to see the world be a Christian world,” says Doug. And yes, he explicitly says his new DC church is part of his little Handmaid’s Tale pervert sicko goal. He says all societies are theocracies, the only question is who is “theo.” (These people are so infected by their authoritarian worldview and, again, daddy issues, that they cannot imagine a society where somebody or something isn’t “daddy.”)
That other religions should be destroyed. Peacefully, of course, not the way Pete Hegseth reportedly drunkenly screamed “KILL ALL MUSLIMS! KILL ALL MUSLIMS!” or anything like that. At least that’s the way Doug Wilson says it when the CNN cameras are on him.
Does Doug Wilson still believe in the “affectionate relationship” between masters and slaves? “Yes,” he tells CNN, although he allows that “it depends on which master and which slave you’re talking about.” (Note how that construct allows for the slaves to be also be considered disagreeable parties, just like abusive masters. Compare that to what you find in the links I’ve posted about how Wilson has allegedly participated in some serious victim-blaming regarding minors molested under his holy watch.) “Slavery was overseen and conducted by fallen human beings, and there were horrendous abuses, and there were also people who owned slaves who were decent human beings.” Sounds like he’s saying that all have sinned and fallen short of God’s perfect plan for slavery? No! He says that system of slavery was bad, he swears.
Also bad? Gays. He says recriminalizing homosexuality would be great, because back in the 1970s and 1980s sodomy was a felony, and America wasn’t a “totalitarian hellhole”! Certainly not for the white nationalist fascist racist misogynist Christians, for sure!
“I’m not a white nationalist, I’m not a fascist, I’m not a racist, I’m not a misogynist.” Oh. Again, could’ve fooled everyone. (He is OK with being called a Christian nationalist.)
So yeah, quite an interview!
Let’s recap:
Secretary Shitfaced shared this interview, which means he endorsed calling for women to lose the right to vote, and for being gay to be criminalized, and the sentiment that some slavery was a totally affectionate arrangement. That was done by Secretary Shitfaced, who no human being of any value would ever consider to be a real man of any kind, much less one worthy of respect, whose Christian witness embodies the message of Matthew 7:21-23. (That’s the one where Jesus spits in the faces of self-righteous fucks who think they’re following him and then dropkicks them out of the kingdom of heaven. I call it “Christ’s letter to white conservative Christians.”)
For more on the new Christ Church Washington DC, read CNN’s article that accompanies this interview. One of the most amusing parts, to me, anyway, was when Wilson was defending against charges that he wants to create a Handmaid’s Tale-style theocracy, and explained that actually there would be MORE freedom in his Christian nationalist ethnostate:
“I think all of those people would, in most areas of their life, be astonished at how much more liberty they had,” Wilson said. “Because we are living under an oppressive, tyrannical state that wants to they want to regulate how much water comes out of my shower head. They want to regulate what kind of light bulb I can have. They want to regulate all kinds of stuff, and that affects the Muslims and the Hindus.”
There are no words for just how much of a whiny ass little bitch. you have to be to believe that that is what “freedom” and “tyranny” are all about. Fucking shower heads and light bulbs. (You will not be surprised to learn what whiny ass little bitches Wilson and his loser “Kirkers” were about the COVID lockdowns.) And this dumb past-his-sell-by-date motherfucker wants us to believe he’s the vanguard of some intellectual Reformed Christian tradition?
OK, bud.
For even more on Wilson, who literally believes that non-Christian faiths should be banned from the public square, Politico Magazine had an excellent piece back in May.
As extremist and batfuckingshit crazy as all this is, Tia Levings at the What The Fundamentalist?! Substack — who has close-up history living in the horrific world Doug Wilson is trying to create, and who escaped from it — notes that this CNN interview is the sanitized, humble, nice version of Wilson.
But this is what Secretary Shitfaced is endorsing with all his heart, and what he’s bringing into the halls of power.
This is the vision of the Christian fundamentalists who think they’re smarter than everybody else, the ones who, if we’re being quite frank about it, find it quite gauche when they see apostolic types speaking in tongues in front of the White House, hooting and hollering and acting a fool. (Reformed Christians are incredibly judgmental about things like that, as a rule.)
No, this is much more buttoned up, and it’s a theology that says not only are they right, but that God predestined and foreordained them to fulfill His will in this way.
And if you’re not one of the mediocre, straight/straight-presenting white Christian Nazi men who believe they’re God’s little WARFIGHTERS WANK WANK WANK here on earth, you better submit and you better like it.
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Evan, please keep talking about Doug Wilson. He and his dipshit followers have done their best to take over and ruin Moscow Idaho, where I lived for almost 20 years. It's a sweet little college town, set in one of the most beautiful landscapes on earth. Wilson and his mob are corrupt, evil, fascist horrors, who think they're C.S. Lewis (who would have despised them). There are a bunch of sex abuse scandals that they've ignored and covered up. More more more of this, please!
I am way more Scottish than any of these people and they can all get tae fuck with their ‘kirk’. I am also way more female than any of these people (except the strangulated wife of the white bread evangelical who thinks he’s her superior) and I can only imagine the SHEER WILD WRATH OF AMERICAN WOMEN if any of their pathetic nonsense comes within a mile radius of actual policy.