Kristi Noem's New 'The Amazing Racist' Show Sounds Kind Of Evil

The contrasts between the good guys and the bad guys are getting starker and starker.

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If you can’t take your eyes away from the blistering evil of the Trump regime, you might have heard the latest about DHS Secretary Kristi Noem, which is that she is reportedly interested in doing a literal reality show where migrants “compete” for citizenship. There are so many ways to talk about how sick, vile and trashy this is. Forget the moral implications for a minute, just to note what kind of tasteless, tacky person would think that was a cool idea, how poorly their parents must have raised them. Sounds like Kristi Noem, Dog Killer to us!

But when you get into the details of the story, that’s when you see the stuff that makes you wonder if anybody ever called the cops on this person as a child, if she ever exhibited the warning signs of a truly evil, disturbed individual who didn’t seem to come to earth with a soul, or if that didn’t come out until adulthood.

The Daily Beast reports that DHS has been working with a garbage reality TV producer named Rob Worsoff — really that’s his name, he produced that Duck Dynasty piece of crap — on the concept for this show called The American, where 12 migrants would traipse across the country doing physical challenges to prove how badly they want to be citizens.

The show’s host—preferably a “famous, naturalized American” like Colombian Sofia Vergara or Canadian Ryan Reynolds—will welcome them with a personalized baseball glove.

Contestants would then travel from state to state aboard a train called “The American” to learn about each region’s history and culture and compete in themed contests, ranging from balancing on logs in Hayward, Wisconsin, to building and launching a rocket in Florida’s Cape Canaveral, which houses a major NASA hub.

Hahahaha, trying to imagine somebody like Sofia Vergara or Ryan Reynolds debasing themselves enough to host ICE Nazi Barbie’s new show The Amazing Racist.

Mila Kunis is also listed in the show’s pitch as a possible host, so that’ll be a third celebrity to laugh in these fucking Nazis’ faces and tell them to eat a bag of dicks. Maybe Kristi Noem will have to host it herself. It should be fine, she’s far more concerned about photo ops and wearing fun costumes than she is about actually doing any sort of good job for the American people.

And how would that work if she hosted? Would every episode end with her shooting a dog, because she’s a horrible sack of shit and we put nothing past her? Just asking. (For the record, the Duck Dynasty idiot swears it won’t be like The Hunger Games. Whatever, fucking creep.)

A DHS spox named Tricia McLaughlin — another Nazi Barbie, obviously — says Kristi Noem isn’t personally involved, but Daily Mail says it has a source who says she’s personally into it and pushing for it.

Who to believe? A hack from the lying Trump administration, or a hack British tabloid? Who to believe!

The rest of this week for Noem has consisted of making an absolute fool of herself in front of Congress as she left open the idea that maybe Donald Trump might suspend habeas corpus because his metastatic racism infection is supposed to be some sort of national emergency.

Also last night she joined the parade of lying MAGA mouthbreathers claiming former FBI director James Comey had called for the assassination of Trump when he posted a picture of a seashell arrangement on the beach. That’s how all assassination plots are announced, with seashells.

As I said at Wonkette yesterday about something else, this is fascism. It’s mind-numbingly, squirrel-fucking-ly stupid fascism, but it is fascism.

The Moral Contrasts Get Starker Every Week

The last month or so at this newsletter, I’ve been writing on sort of a building theme, without actually intending to. Just happens that way sometimes.

On Easter, we talked about White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt — another Nazi Barbie! — performatively praying on camera, defiling the very act itself like she’s competing to win Sunday school, before going out to the daïs and spewing her daily Nazi lies at reporters and the American people.

The next week, we discussed how Trump and MAGA figures like Stephen Miller have a desperate need to project strength, but it comes off looking pathetic, because what they’re all trying to hide is that they are total fucking cowards. Their entire worldview is based in cowardice. Their racism is cowardice. Their hate is cowardice. When God was handing out inner strength, these people were too scared to stand in the line because there were people with non-white skin in the queue.

The next week, we started talking about the contrasts between the vile, immoral and amoral evil of Trump and MAGA, compared with the moral uprightness of the resistance, how they know on some level that we have the moral high ground — or at least they know that, in the eyes of normal people, we have the moral high ground — and it outrages them. They think because they’re white supremacists and Christian nationalists and Nazis, then by virtue of those things they are superior, in genetics and in moral uprightness.

And the rest of us are like “Waaaaaait a minute, are we still talking about Donald Trump and Elon Musk and Stephen Miller and Secretary Shitfaced and the rest of that lot? Because if so, LO-fucking-L.”

Oh yeah, and then a new pope was elected, and MAGA reacted to that guy like a vampire thrown into a swimming pool full of garlic. We took at it as evidence that that guy must be pretty dang Christ-like, because there is no single figure Christian Trump supporters hate more than Jesus.

There Is Nothing Trump And MAGA Hate More Than Jesus

Today, a few more brief examples of what the good guys are doing. Compare them to Kristi Noem above. Compare them to Donald Trump’s gravelly-voiced dipshit solicitor general standing in front of the Supreme Court yesterday and arguing with a straight face that the plainly written first words of the 14th Amendment AKA birthright citizenship don’t say what they say, and should be abolished, so that Trump can refuse citizenship to (dark-skinned) babies he doesn’t like. Also that Trump shouldn’t have to always respect court rulings, if he doesn’t like them. (Even the Trump judges seemed embarrassed for Sauer, we should note.)

Compare them to all the continued and growing outrages of Stupid Hitler 2.0.

Goofus, Gallant, Etc.

Earlier this week, Donald Trump announced a new whites-only refugee policy for white South Africans fleeing a “genocide” that only exists in white supremacists’ dumb pant-shitting imaginations. He welcomed 59 Afrikaners to the US to be used as pawns in his political game. His announcement was one of the most explicitly white supremacist things he’s ever said as president, and that’s a high bar.

Look at this vile piece of shit from the State Department explaining that we need these whites-only refugees because they will much more easily “be assimilated” into the country.

The same day, Trump announced he’d end refugee protections for Afghans who assisted the US military, and DHS Nazi Barbie Noem was like ohhhhh they’ll be fine after she deports them.

In response, no less than the Episcopal Church in the US announced that it would no longer to be able to partner with the US government on refugee resettlement, that it would put all its resources toward helping people in other ways, because it could not let its name be associated with such vile, pigfucking racism as Trump’s.

The letter from Presiding Bishop Sean Rowe was astounding. He explained that Trump had pretty much shut down refugee resettlement anyway, nobody was being helped or saved, everybody was being fired. But then they were notified that they would have to participate in Trump’s Whites-Only Refugee Pet Project, and they were like NOPE, I’M OUT.

Rowe wrote, “I am saddened and ashamed that many of the refugees who are being denied entrance to the United States are brave people who worked alongside our military in Iraq and Afghanistan and now face danger at home because of their service to our country. I also grieve that victims of religious persecution, including Christians, have not been granted refuge in recent months.”

He added, pointedly, “As Christians, we must be guided not by political vagaries, but by the sure and certain knowledge that the kingdom of God is revealed to us in the struggles of those on the margins.”

The contrast, as I say, is becoming starker and starker.

The first time new Pope Leo XIV met with journalists was earlier this week, and he spoke up for a free press, and in defense of imprisoned journalists:

“Let me … reiterate today the church’s solidarity with journalists who are imprisoned for seeking and reporting the truth while also asking for their release,” he said. “The church recognizes in these witnesses — I am thinking of those who report on war even at the cost of their lives — the courage of those who defend dignity, justice and the right of people to be informed, because only informed individuals can make free choices.”

On Mother’s Day, he condemned Vladimir Putin’s war in Ukraine, and called for a ceasefire in Gaza.

Here is a group of faith leaders blocking the entrance to the Delaney Hall ICE center in New Jersey, condemning and fighting back against the evil that’s happening inside those walls. (This is where Trump’s jackbooted thugs arrested the Newark mayor Ras Baraka and have been harassing and abusing Democratic lawmakers who have shown up to conduct oversight.) Oh boy, you should see Fox News whining about this.

This newsletter’s first edition of the second Trump administration, which I linked to above, was, again, about how there is nothing MAGA hates more than Jesus. Specifically, it was about the meek, yet powerful entreaties from Bishop Mariann Budde of the Episcopal diocese in Washington DC, directly to Donald Trump’s and J.D. Vance’s disturbed, evil faces, that they have mercy on the people of this country who are now living in fear because they are in power. She asked them to have compassion. She asked them to honor people’s humanity and dignity. She asked them to love their neighbors.

And they and their MAGA followers and media organs screamed and wailed like Satan himself in the last few pages of the book of Revelation.

She showed Jesus to them. These fuckers hate Jesus.

More than that, they hate goodness and mercy and all the things from the Beatitudes and the Sermon on the Mount, and they hate them wherever they come from. Whether they come from a religious place, or secular, or from any number of faith traditions, because God knows it ain’t all about Christians.

Sometimes it comes from Bruce Springsteen.

In response to what Springsteen said at his show in Manchester, Donald Trump is on Truth Social issuing threats to the Boss. Because that’s what kind of a small little shriveled-up tinpot dictator he is.

Be encouraged that every single one of us standing up right now is a greater human being than these vile, shithole trolls currently in power.

This moment, too, shall pass.

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