The 565,384 Stupidest, Funniest Temper Tantrums America's Bigots Had During Pride Month!
Happy Pride, everybody! Point and laugh.
Welcome, Moral High Grounders! As I type this, we have just passed 3,000 total subscribers! I’m so glad you are all here. We did that in under a month, so let’s see how fast we can get to 4,000!
If this is your first time here, welcome. Click here to learn why I launched this place and why it’s called what it’s called, etc. And if you love this post and haven’t done so yet, join the growing numbers of PAYING subscribers and founding members, whose support means I can keep the lights on and also add more content and a podcast and so forth! Hit the subscription boxes wherever you see them.
Good Friday morning! Who wants to talk about literally anything besides Thursday night’s debate? Same.
It’s the end of June, and it’s the end of the first full month of The Moral High Ground, which means it’s time to recap the stupidest, funniest, most disturbed temper tantrums America’s conservatives have had over Pride month 2024. Why? Because Happy Pride is why!
And yes, I said funniest. It’s easy to despair, and we should never lose sight of the fact that these people are predatory and hurt real people, but remember: they are also absolutely ridiculous. They are antisocial embarrassments to themselves and to their families, and we should point and laugh at them every chance we get. They really hate that, and it’s therapeutic for us.
We’re not ranking these, they all tie for first place. Except maaaaaybe the one at the end wins first place. Read on to decide for yourself!
That Bar In Idaho What Celebrated ‘Heterosexual Awesomeness Month’
This is the one that kind of kicked the month’s fuckery off. Behold, the Old State Saloon in Eagle, Idaho:
“Each Monday will be Hetero Male Monday and any heterosexual male dressed like a heterosexual male will receive a free draft beer,” the bar said in a Facebook post that has since gone viral. “Each Wednesday is Heterosexual couples day and each heterosexual couple will receive 15% off their bill.”
Not sure how they’re verifying Hetero Male Monday. Maybe the straight dudes have to prove there are visible skid marks in their threadbare underpants. (We kid! Somewhat.)
Surprise, bar owner Mark Fitzpatrick blamed his bigotry on his Sincerely Held Christian Beliefs.
Surprise, he said it’s not about hating “homosexuals,” but about loving straight people.
Surprise, he’s grifting this for merch sales. (Soooooo much merch.)
Surprise, he started a GiveSendGo — it’s the Christian GoFundMe, for when you get kicked off there for being a bigot — to grift off the “backlash.”
Surprise, he somehow was able to afford an ugly ass Tesla Cybertruck, which he says he’s going to put a machine gun on top of and wrap with a “hetero flag.”
Surprise.
Speaking Of Flags, Martha-Ann Alito Conjured A Shame Flag OF YOU In Her Miiiiiiiind!
Few things will ever be funnier than Martha-Ann Alito, the purported adult married to Samuel Alito, a Catholic extremist and the Supreme Court’s weakest brain link, getting caught on hidden tape by journalist Lauren Windsor dramatically bellyaching that she’s imagining a new flag (she’s into flags) that says VERGOGNA!, the Italian word for SHAME!, in order to stick it to the gays who live on the other side of the LAGOOOOOOOOON!
Please, for the love of God, listen if you haven’t.
“I made a flag in my head,” she said. “This is how I satisfy myself,” she said. “I made a flag. It’s white and it has yellow and orange flames around it. And in the middle is the word vergogna. Vergogna in Italian means SHAME.”
This woman demands you treat her like a serious person.
And if you’re not nice to her, she will make a flag of you in her brain, and her husband will take away more of your bodily autonomy, but he was going to do that anyway, because they’re both whinyass extremist religious children, but he has that lifetime power on the Court.
This Former Newsmax Weenus Who DEFEATED PRIDE By Getting Engaged To His Heterosexual Love Partner, A Human Woman
Question: Does this little squirt think he prevented acts of overt gayness with his heterosexual marriage proposal? Because if anything, we bet at least several gay couples saw this and got at least two percent more frisky that night as a result, after they finished laughing.
Meet Addison Smith, who used to work for Newsmax. In response to his tweet, many people said things like “Why are you thinking about other men while proposing to your fiance?” and “I, too, thought only about the gays when I, a very heterosexual person, got very heterosexually engaged to another heterosexual” and “Your first thought when proposing to your wife is gay men? I predict this will be a pattern. Condolences to your wife.”
In response, he said things like:
Addison Smith is not weird. The 2,000 people beep-booping the same “dunk” that it’s kind of questionable that his first thought upon convincing a human woman to marry him is “TAKE THAT, GAYS,” they are the weird ones.
Oh, Addison. Bless your heart.
This Current Newsmax Idiot Having An Aneurysm Over Gay Flag Football
Poor Rob Schmitt. He just wanted to watch football during the month of June — readers, what was his first mistake there? — without having the homosexual agenda shoved down his throat!
But then the Buffalo Bills sponsored a gay flag football league (the league’s been around for over 20 years) and it bothered him so much and he had a raging tantrum about it.
“I need to go find my own country,” he whined at the end of it.
(Hit the link above for the full story on that one when you’re done here, we wrote it up at Wonkette.)
Some Babylon Bee Nutsack Couldn’t Stop Posting Pictures Of BIG MAN TRUCKS Leaving Tire Tracks On Gay Pride Crosswalks
Extraneous white dude Joel Berry from the Babylon Bee — you know, that conservative site that claims to do Onion-style conservative humor that sticks it to the libs and makes normal people laugh — couldn’t stop posting these pictures. The LibsOfTikTok woman Chaya Raichik couldn’t either.
Of course, there have been incidences of people actually vandalizing crosswalks, and an uptick of religious terrorists attacking Pride events and LGBTQ+ spaces in general, but a lot of the pics these expired suppositories have been posting are AI. (For instance the pic at the top of today’s newsletter.)
Berry was pruriently fixated it on it all month:
Y’all, there are no words for how sad this is.
Yes, they’re images of destruction, even if they’re AI (or just bad graphic design in one Raichik example), and they’re just meant to be cruel.
But at the same time, what a breathtaking own goal.
Rainbow crosswalks are located in vibrant, desirable neighborhoods where the food is far too spicy for Joel Berry and Chaya Raichik, neighborhoods most people like them are too scared to enter because there’s diversity there, because they think they’ll get recruited or groomed.
Neighborhoods where just about any demographic of person can feel welcome and accepted and get invited to the potluck.
Except religious extremists. They’re not wanted.
So these dickwits are posting “RESIST” with imaginary images of trucks that make them feel strong, going into neighborhoods that reject them so they don’t have to. Or alternately, they’re posting “RESIST” over real pictures, yapping about starting GoFundMes for the vagrant trash that committed the crimes.
Cool people all around.
Speaking Of Extraneous White Losers, Here Are Some Christian Extremist Dudes Talking About Ye Olde Butt Sex
This is old school, y’all. If you’ve been following these spare parts as long as we have, this is old school:
Ben Zeisloft is an anti-abortion gay-hatin’ Christian nationalist extremist white guy. Joel Webbon is, um, another one. Can’t tell ‘em apart, sorry. They all have the same nondescript white faces, upon which they outwardly display their ever-present masculine insecurity and dread.
And they’re pretty sure the “key characteristic of the gay community” is butt sex. Not sure how they think they know this.
Webbon gets really graphic with it, the way the anti-gay bigots of yesteryear did, making dramatic faces about poop and AIDS. (You’d be shocked to find out he appears to get his data from a clownishly unhinged and entirely debunked anti-gay bigot named Paul Cameron.) We would of course note that the story of HIV in 2024 is not the same as the story of HIV several decades ago.
As for the poop comments, we are terrified of what these Christian extremist dudes’ diets look like, the way they are so deathly scared of their own butts.
In the podcast episode the tweet above excerpts, Webbon seemingly protested-eth too much, claiming it’s a “natural reaction” to want to “throw up in your mouth a little bit” if you see a gay couple kissing. He said this reaction is “God-given.” (He’s also into the death penalty for gay sex, and so much more.)
Another interchangeable white Christian extremist named Joshua Haymes chimed in on Twitter with his own EXTRA INSIST-Y proclamation that Ew, boys kissing is yuck!
“All men feel this,” he swears to himself and his followers from behind the most hilarious 1970s gay pornstache. He agrees that being grossed out like this comes from God.
What, you didn’t know God was basically the pathetic next-door neighbor in American Beauty?
Um, They Spent The Month Getting Mad At Ms. Rachel, The YouTube Star For Preschoolers
What did Ms. Rachel, the YouTube star with 10 million subscribers who is basically Taylor Swift for three-year-olds, do? She said Happy Pride.
Where did she say it? On her Instagram and her TikTok, which are much more for the parents of the toddlers she performs for on YouTube.
That’s it? That’s it.
In response, every weirdo you’d never leave your kids around — Matt Walsh, Chaya Raichik, the One Million Moms, which is actually just one mom named Monica Cole, whose org is a wang of the American Family Association hate group — has spent the month caterwauling about her.
Allie Beth Stuckey from Glenn Beck’s The Blaze somberly explained that Ms. Rachel doesn’t understand real love because she didn’t include God Hates Fags in her Pride message. (Slight paraphrase, but basically the same argument as the asshole from The Federalist who attacked Dolly Parton for not loving gays enough to scream at them that they’re going to hell.)
Charlie Kirk and his extremist pal Jack Posobiec took the same tack, but Charlie took it even further, invoking Bible verses about stoning people to death and calling that “God’s perfect law when it comes to sexual matters.”
These people are fucking deranged.
But remember what we talked about last week, about LibsOfTikTok and Charlie’s thirsty fantasies about “outbreeding the left,” and their impotent, desperate desires to keep children from learning that LGBTQ+ people exist, and that it’s fine, and that anybody who says otherwise is a religious extremist who shouldn’t be allowed around children?
That’s why they’re so mad at Ms. Rachel.
They’re mad that kids — any kids, but especially their own kids — might be friends with somebody whose parents say groomer words like, “It's fine to be gay or trans, you are welcome at our house, are you hungry?" or that they might hear Ms. Rachel say you don’t have to kill yourself if you’re LGBTQ+.
Stay mad, assholes.
BEST FOR LAST? Here’s What Happens To Mommies Who Choose Bigotry Over Their Kids
Meet Beth Bourne. She’s a Moms For Liberty chapter president who works at the University of California at Davis, and she’s gone viral this week for having the most holyshitamazing meltdown while on vacation in Hawaii. She was in the lobby of her hotel, and there were some drag queens, and Oh. My. God. Just. Watch. (Video uploaded by Michael McWhorter.)
Bourne was at the Alohilani Resort in Waikiki. These drag queens — including famous performer Marina Del Rey — were there shooting a video. The drag queens were admirably calm and peaceful toward Bourne verbally assaulting them, especially so close to the anniversary of Stonewall. (IYKYK.)
Bourne screamed and hollered. “I paid to be a customer at a hotel where I thought you believe that women were real!” She accused the drag performers of being degrading. “This is misogyny!” (Y’all know what fervent defenders of women’s rights Christian conservative women are.)
She demanded the $3,000 she spent on the hotel back. (Madam Grifts-a-Lot might as well get a discount.)
The hotel was absolutely lovely, they were like cool, let’s get you your money and get you the hell away from the nice people.
Accosting one performer, she screamed, “What do you think about my son, who might think that he can put on makeup and put on fancy clothing and high heels and have his penis cut off and take estrogen so he can grow fake boobs like those!”
She wanted to call the police. People laughed at her. Hotel staff continued helping her remove herself from the premises. She did have to talk to the Honolulu Police a bit later. She was an entire pain in the ass to them too.
Watch the whole video above, as McWhorter explains exactly who Bourne is. He shows footage of her at a city council-type place, demanding to know why she can’t put on blackface and declare herself “trans-racial.” She’s one of the most prominent anti-trans activists in California.
Surprise, her child is non-binary.
That’s right. This is a mother who has completely abandoned that post to travel far and wide showing us all what a raging, unfit bigot she is. She says she’s gotten used to her colleagues thinking she’s a “terrible person” and her former friends asking her to please never contact them again.
Now the world gets to feel the same way about her.
There is much more to the story, including UC Davis’s halfass condemnations of their employee, so check out the whole video above and the rest of McWhorter’s Twitter for updates. Bourne also shot her own video of the drag queens, if you want to see the people she was victimizing the way she saw them.
But this roundup is 58 million words long now, so this newsletter is officially over.
Who was your favorite Pride Month asshole temper tantrum? Were you able to do some good laughing at these garbage humans?
Tell me about it, in the comments!
Hello, lovely readers and subscribers! If you like this post and want more like it, please share, recommend, and most importantly become a paying subscriber if you can! I’m starting to roll out special goodies for those who do — audio versions of the posts are now coming out! (Look for the audio version of this one to come out Monday-ish.)
Many more things are coming, including a chat community and other stuff.
But that all requires CASH MONEY.
So here is another subscription box. Be the paying subscriber you want to see in the world!
If you’re feeling limited by the subscription options and want to donate more like some kind of high roller big bucks luxury patron, use this Luxury Button!
Note that the Luxury Button is a PayPal link, so it won’t automatically confer the benefits of subscriptions like above. Go ahead and put your email in the subscription box regardless, and if you ever don’t have access to something after you’ve subscribed/donated that way, gently nudge me to let me know.
Thank you, love you all!
-Evan
Phyllis Schlafly had a gay son. If they don't like us, they should stop making us. 😂
A mother who publicly denounces her child is a child abuser. Specifically, using public sexual humiliation and abandonment for coercive control. Mother of the year!