Trump Got To See Daddy Yesterday! Daddy Putin Was In Alaska! Daddy!

Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!

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One more thing:

Hey there Sport, Daddy’s home!

Back in June, I wrote a post after Donald Trump came home from Europe and MAGA was collectively prematurely ejaculating in its pants because [gag] Daddy was coming home. In that post, I said:

I’ve been making fun of MAGA manliness a lot here lately. It’s so key to understanding everything about these people, that their sense of their own manliness, their power, is entirely borrowed and sucked out and experienced vicariously through men they view as more powerful in the hierarchy/patriarchy. In turn, the men they look up to are drawing their power vicariously from the men above them. In other words, they all have severe, unrequited daddy issues. It would be funny if this wasn’t real life, if their psychosexual issues weren’t literally destroying this country right now.

For a great example of this, watch Pete Hegseth’s body language any time he’s around Donald Trump. Of course, you can also watch his beclowned press conference this week, as he sniffed and drooled and whimpered for Donald Trump’s approval. Then watch Trump when he’s around Vladimir Putin.

Watch them work out their Daddy issues in real time, live and on camera.

Well wouldn’t you know it, I’m a fuckin’ prophet.

We got to watch Trump and Putin together yesterday in Alaska, and it was the perfect cap for a week that’s seen every white conservative Republican man in Washington competing to see who can be the most panty-pissing “Waaaaah I’m scared of cities!” total fucking weenus in the whole wide world.

OF COURSE Trump Is Begging Us To Call Him Daddy

Yes, Donald Trump saw his daddy yesterday.

Usually it takes months to plan a “summit” like the one in Alaska (it wasn’t a real summit), but in this case, Putin wanted to meet and Trump just immediately started wagging his tail and showing lipstick, and therefore it was scheduled. Putin on a US military base, surrounded by all the Russian spies he brought with him? Sure, cool. Putin riding in the backseat of The Beast with Trump, where he could have easily planted a bug? Yeah fuck it, American history is winding down anyway.

The “summit” was of course a failure. No ceasefire deal was made, and Putin’s troops spent the day killing Ukrainians, couldn’t stop for one fuckin’ day to even pay lip service to the possibility he wants to end the war, hell no.

But let’s talk about those Daddy issues Trump has, how former KGB agent Putin plays the role for his little dumpy awkward American boy who is also his obvious intelligence asset, and how Putin uses that to his advantage when it comes to keeping his little bitch in line.

Asha Rangappa had a good thread on the topic last night:

She goes on to note that when mean old Fred Trump died in 1999, it left a vacuum for Trump, who Russia reportedly started cultivating as an asset in the 1980s. When Trump has needed a daddy, Russia has always been there, especially when he’s fucked himself financially, but also in other ways. Trump’s daddy Fred was a horrible man, a total sociopath, and as Rangappa notes, Trump just absolutely adored him. Craved his approval. (You can see what appears to be the continuation of this cycle of abuse in his relationship with Don Jr., who totally sucks just like his dad.)

Putin clearly knows all of this.

I replied to Rangappa’s thread:

Yes, let’s talk about that.

Let’s look at a few moments from yesterday, of Trump with his substitute father figure Vladimir, the man he goes jelly limp around, the man he allows to speak first, while he stands there submissively, looking like he’s about to flinch. Compare it to how Secretary Shitfaced Pete Hegseth sits and stands next to Trump submissively, looking like he’s about to flinch, and also like he secretly hopes Daddy would smack him a little bit. (As I discussed in that post a few weeks back, every single one of these MAGA men derives his power from understanding who he’s alpha to, and who is his daddy.)

Let’s start with when Putin arrived. Trump got off the plane first — Daddy likes to be the one to keep them waiting — and the US military had literally rolled out the red carpet for the Russian dictator who’s spent the last several years raping and murdering our allies the Ukrainians and kidnapping and trafficking their children. That’s what Dear Leader ordered, I guess.

Trump was so excited he almost pissed down his leg onto that red carpet when he saw Putin walking toward him, he started weirdly clapping his hands, and you almost expected him to start wagging his butt and rolling over begging for belly scratches.

Daddy came back!

He pulled Putin in and gave him a ride in the backseat of the presidential limo AKA The Beast, which is absolutely not done, but Trump hadn’t seen his Daddy in a long time, and I imagine he was beyond desperate to be alone with him.

Wonder what they talked about there, away from the prying ears of people like Little Marco Rubio, the secretary of State who as the chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee presided over the most damning report of Russian collusion and interference to help Trump in 2016 that exists.

We don’t know what transpired in the official small group meeting with Trump, Putin, Rubio, Trump’s real estate idiot/envoy to everything Steve Witkoff and Putin’s closest spies, but it couldn’t have been great, since it was much shorter than planned, and a scheduled lunch session with a larger group was scrapped.

At the 12-minute “press conference” — it wasn’t a press conference, they didn’t take questions — Trump looked exhausted and barely alive, not like the chipper ugly orange dog he became on the tarmac when the Russian dictator ran at him with a pocket full of Snausages. And ever the submissive boy, he let Daddy take the lead and talk first talk mostly. He let Putin babble out alternative history lessons about the history of the US and Russia, he let Putin place himself on an equal footing with the leader of the United States, after having notably been in exile from the community of nations ever since he started slicing babies’ heads off in Ukraine for no reason besides his warped, delusional beliefs about Russian history and past glory.

During the “press conference,” Putin said, unprompted, that it’s definitely true that he wouldn’t have started the war had Trump been president. Oh boy, that made his ugly little son Donald feel good!

You know it made him feel good because he babbled about it to Sean Hannity afterward, suddenly again in the afterglow:

Hannity was like He did! He said that! Hannity beamed that Putin “confirmed for the world” yesterday that such was true. (Sean Hannity is approximately as intelligent as a sack of pig dicks. Ever heard what Rupert Murdoch thinks of Hannity?)

“Any of the specifics come up as to WHY he said that?” asked Hannity, as if the obvious fact that Putin was buttering up his intelligence asset who is also his bouncing baby was not a sufficient answer.

Know what else Putin told Trump? Know what else, Sean Hannity? Know what else Putin said? Sean! Sean! Sean! Guess what else Putin said!

Putin said the 2020 election was rigged, and he knows it was rigged because we had mail-in voting, and you can’t have honest elections with mail-in-voting, and Putin said Trump won the election by a whole lot!

Sean! Sean! Sean! He said that, Sean!

We can leave aside all the other hilarious things about this — Russia and Vladimir Putin talking about free and fair elections, LMAO — because that is not our purpose here.

Because, you see, if Putin in fact told Trump this — and according to the theory we’re pursuing here, he probably did! — it’s very likely because Putin has spent time studying some of the stupidest, most pathetic, and most importantly emotionally neediest delusional beliefs Trump clings to like a gun and a Bible. You know, the things Trump believes in order to hide his heart and his brain and his psyche from that still, small, nagging voice that (entirely accurately) tells him he’s a worthless human being who doesn’t deserve to be loved by God or man. (Remember how Fred Trump was emotionally abusive and also neglected Donald, according to his niece Mary Trump.)

So, if I’m right about this, Putin probably picked five or six of them — or his spy chiefs picked them for him — and he memorized and rehearsed them, so that he could deliver exactly the lies Donald needed to hear. (It wouldn’t be that fucking hard, Trump’s only tweeted these exact things verbatim millions of times.)

What happened in The Beast? Well, here’s an educated guess: Putin let Trump lie his head in his lap and he told his boy he missed him, and in a soothing Russian accent, he told him sweet bedtime stories about how Daddy never would have invaded Ukraine if he had been allowed to be with his good boy, and how the 2020 election was stolen from his good boy, in precisely the ways his good boy suspected. (It wouldn’t be that fucking hard, since Trump tweeted approximately one million times about mail-in voting being the thing that RIGGED it.)

Putin told Trump these things like they were his own fatherly ideas.

Ooh, Sean! Sean! There was another one! Sean, there was another one! Daddy said he had never seen anybody fix a country so fast! He said, “Your country is like hot as a pistol, and a year ago HE thought it was dead!”

Isn’t that crazy, Sean! That’s exactly what Trump has said! And then Daddy said it! Sean! Sean! Daddy said it! I love Daddy!

To be clear, Trump got nothing in return for this Putin “summit,” besides the gaping emotional void it filled that he got to see Daddy. (At least he got nothing that he or Putin is going to share publicly.)

But that’s all he needed to get — fuck Ukraine and the rest of us! — and it was probably by the best day of his second loser presidency.

Because Donald Trump, as ever, is Vladimir Putin’s bitch.

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