Screw Congress, Read My Top Stories Of 2024 Instead!
Has it really only been seven months since I started this thing?
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OK, let’s see about 2024’s top stories!
Here we are, the first newsletter of 2025! Today, Congress will reconvene and we are sure the political news will be full of professional and decent Republican politicians doing things professionally and decently and not embarrassing this country even a little bit.
You betcha.
Let’s ignore those assholes for a little while and talk about something else.
The Moral High Ground isn’t a full year old yet, it’s seven months old, but in some ways it feels like a loooooong time ago when I started this thing. Could be because when I started it, Joe Biden was still running for president, and that terrible debate hadn’t even happened yet. Between then and now we’ve had Kamala Harris step into as the candidate and energize us and give us hope, only to have it ripped away from us again, and now Donald Trump will be sworn in as the president in two and a half weeks.
Deep breaths.
At Wonkette for New Year’s Eve I wrote about Kamala Harris, and how in any sane and rational world she’d be Time magazine’s person of the year, instead of them giving it to Stupid Hitler just like they gave it to real Hitler back in the day (and to Stalin).
Here we are, and forward we must go.
But first let’s look real quick at this newsletter’s top 10 posts of 2024! If you have been around the whole time, then revisit and reshare again and anew! If you are a newer reader, this is a good opportunity to catch up on where we’ve been and where we’re going.
Before we do that, though, a note:
Yes, something dreadful happened in November, and something dreadful will happen on January 20. (Also something dreadful might happen today, to Speaker Mike Johnson’s “speaker” title. Pop the popcorn and relish that creep’s misery, if it should come to pass!)
But nothing has changed about the overall fight for the soul of this country we were in before November 5, and nothing has changed about the thesis statement of this newsletter, the thing you see when you arrive here for the first time and put your email in the box to subscribe.
“We are living through a world-historical temper tantrum from white conservative Christians over their loss of control, relevance, and supremacy. This weekly newsletter looks at current events through that lens, glares at it, and usually mocks it.”
It might seem from where you sitting right now like they haven’t lost much control, relevance or supremacy after all. And sure, they still had tons of power before this, and they’re about to have a lot more.
But think about it — have you ever seen a group of sorer winners in your life? Do they come across like people with a spring in their step that comes from confidence that they won because they deserved to win, and the people love them? Have you seen how they’re already biting each other’s dicks off, and Trump hasn’t even been inaugurated yet? Some coalition they have.
As to the overall war, well, sometimes there are just really big setbacks, and the finish line isn’t always where we want it to be.
We lost a big battle, but remember: Trump’s victory wasn’t very big, no matter what his little ego needs you to believe. His popular vote win was tiny, and not a majority but a plurality, as he failed to achieve 50 percent yet again. As we mentioned, Mike Johnson’s job is holding on by a perhaps just about entirely frayed thread, because his new majority in the House is currently only one seat. (You know, because though we didn’t retake the House, we gained ground there.)
How many votes can he afford to lose to remain speaker, therefore? That’d be zero.
So, I’m not saying to relax as we head into this year. Jesus, no. There are terrible times ahead. But I’m saying that keeping things in perspective is good, and to keep laughing at these motherfuckers and calling them mean names is good, and to remember that these incompetent nutsacks have not earned your fear or respect is good.
Refusing to obey in advance can be fun!
OK! Here are the top ten stories from this newsletter, ranked backward from 10 to numero:
TEN: If LibsOfTikTok And Charlie Kirk Are Going To 'Outbreed The Left,' They Should Close The Door First
A good intro to just how pervy and disturbed our enemies really are.
NINE: J.D. Vance Doesn’t Care If Kamala Harris Has Kids. He’s Mad His Own Kids Can See Her.
Enough said.
EIGHT: Texas Republicans Seem Panicked. Wonder Why!
The Christian nationalist fascists were scared people might vote in a non-Christian. nationalist fascist way. Shocker, the biggest voter suppression state in the country managed to hold on to white supremacy for another cycle.
But they sure did seem scared.
SEVEN: Weird MAGA Crybabies Take Gold In Snot-Sobbing All Over The Olympics
Oh lord, the Olympics seem like AGES ago. Remember when we endured the conservative Christian whining for weeks about the extremely Parisian opening ceremonies that were awesome?
SIX: MAGA Men VERY MAD At Wives Secretly Voting For Kamala. Stop Laughing, It's Not Funny!
They were! They were very mad! And it was very funny!
FIVE: Whatever You Did On Thanksgiving, It Wasn't As Weird As Mar-a-Lago
Uhhhhh … yeah. Just click if you didn’t see.
FOUR: If You're Attacking Dolly Parton, You've Lost The Whole Entire War
No matter what happened on November 5, nothing has changed about the solid scientific fact that if you are on the opposite side of an issue from Dolly Parton, you are a complete loser and a disappointment to God and man.
THREE: Tim Walz Is The Man Loser MAGA Guys Can Never Be
Sort of a companion to the one above about Vance and Harris. When these people’s kids are exposed to decent and good and kind and moral role models, they figure out really quickly that their parents, churches and Republican political leaders are full-of-shit false prophets.
TWO: Trump Convicted Of Crimes For First Time Ever! The Next Day, THE MORAL HIGH GROUND WAS BORN.
This is where it all began. It was indeed the day after Donald Trump was convicted of 34 felonies in the state of New York that I launched this newsletter. We had some hope then that it wouldn’t be a one-off, that perhaps this man might start facing accountability for who he is and what he’s inflicted on this country. ‘Twas not to be.
But that’s where the thesis statement for this newsletter comes from, and not one thing has changed about that, or the mission of this joint:
We are trapped inside a world-historical temper tantrum being thrown by (mostly) white conservative Christian men — and the women who prop them up — over their loss of cultural and political power, influence and relevance. Just about every political/cultural story intersects with this tantrum in some way or another. The winners and losers of this tantrum aren’t foreordained, and these people are doing everything they can to create systems that force the sane majority to abide by their will and respect their authori-tah. Attacking the rule of law, committing terrorist acts to overturn elections they lose, passing down fascist Christian edicts from an illegitimate partisan Supreme Court, banning drag shows, banning abortion, making kissy-face with authoritarians in Russia and Hungary — you name it. It’s not a coincidence that all the same people are doing all these things.
We can win and should continue winning this war. (And we ARE winning.)
To do that, it’s useful to understand what REALLY motivates these people, to understand the fear and confusion behind their actions. And it’s helpful to understand news and trends in light of all this, to help us grasp how weak, fearful and ungrounded they really are, and respond accordingly.
Again, sometimes the war takes longer than we would like it to. American history is filled with stories of people who didn’t live to see it won, but they lived to do their part to advance it forward for the next group.
Reckon we have to do the same.
ONE: Hey, Where'd All The Trump Signs In Southern Missouri Go?
Those signs simply weren’t there. They still showed up to vote in the end, though, in numbers enough to count. And that’s what matters, unfortunately!
But I don’t think just because we lost the election that everything I saw last year is automatically negated. I’ve written here and at Wonkette about what this victory really looks like for Trump. With hindsight, we can better see that the wind really was at Trump’s back, in a global way.
But let me close with this:
In 2020, these were the popular vote totals:
Joe Biden: 81,282,916
Trump: 74,223,369
And in 2024:
Kamala Harris: 75,017,626
Trump: 77,301,997
Trump improved on his numbers, by about three million. Still almost four million fewer votes than Biden got in 2020.
What happened to six million Biden voters? And what will they be in the mood to do the next time their groceries are too expensive and they think everything is terrible and they vote for “change” (like so many of them do literally back and forth, back and forth, every cycle)?
We’ve got a lot to work with here, and a lot to fight for.
Can’t hardly wait to see what this top ten list looks like a year from now, holy fuck.
I’ll be here, though, calling these fuckers out. You be here too.
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Thank you, love you all!
-Evan
Thanks, Evan, for a great year of writing. And about those Trump signs. I live in Southern Illinois and before the election, I rarely saw a Trump sign but since the election they’ve been popping up in people’s yards. Interesting phenomenon that they are showing support only after he won.
Ta, Evan. Ruby is a worthy successor to Lula. Happy new year to you and yours.